Computer acronyms

I really don’t know why they left it in trash? They are sooo great! So we took care of them, maybe you’d find them useful.

1. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! ’Cause when I got one...I got real snippy.

2. I heard you had herpes...and I feel terrible...I’d say "get well soon" but I know it’s incurable!

3. My tire was thumping I thought it was flat...when I looked at the tire, I found your cat...Sorry!

4. You had your bladder removed and your on the mends... here’s a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends!

5. You’ve announced that you’re gay, and won’t that be a laugh, when they find out you’re one... of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!

English people also have problems with MS Windows and laugh at them! Surprising, isn’t it? Here’s one in good, old, english style;) Enjoy!

Transcript of Support Request RN302896:

WINDOWS SUPPORT:
Thank you for calling Microsoft Windows for Warships Support Line. Where do you want to blow up today?

COMMANDER
This is Commander Nelson of HMS Excel. We appear to be under attack and our computer keeps freezing.

WINDOWS SUPPORT
I see. Are you sitting in front of your computer now?

COMMANDER
Yes. Also, our Combat Management System is telling us we need different drivers to fire our missiles.

U think ur good @ comp. acronyms? So y don’t u try th@ list?

NAPSTER
No longer A Possible Solution To Escape Record-buying

TWAIN
Technology Without Any Important Name

PCMCIA
People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

ISDN
It Still Does Nothing

APPLE
Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity

SCSI
System Can’t See It

DOS
Defective Operating System

BASIC
Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM
I Blame Microsoft (or conversely "I Build Macs")

DEC
Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM
Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2
Obsolete Soon Too

WWW
World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH
Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs

PENTIUM
Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathmatics

COBOL
Completely Obsolete Buisiness Oriented Language

AMIGA
A Merely Insignificant Gamers Addiction

LISP
Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis

MIPS
Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

WINDOWS
Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MICROSOFT
Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

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